{"id":384,"date":"2017-10-09T16:07:15","date_gmt":"2017-10-09T20:07:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/crystalscrafties.com\/?p=384"},"modified":"2018-04-19T14:22:47","modified_gmt":"2018-04-19T18:22:47","slug":"mom-and-step-mom-learning-to-love","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/crystalscrafties.com\/index.php\/2017\/10\/09\/mom-and-step-mom-learning-to-love\/","title":{"rendered":"Mom and Step-mom. Learning to Love."},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/p>\n

Mom and Step-mom. Learning to love.<\/h1>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

As a mom you never expect to share your child with another \u201cmom\u201d. From the time you were a little girl you expected to grow up, get married to a man who hasn\u2019t been married before, have a family and live happily ever after. I mean Disney said so, right? Now this does happen from time to time and for those lucky few women, well, you go girl! You have the marriage, parenting, life thing DOWN! But let\u2019s face it, you\u2019re like a unicorn. Most of us are not in your situation.<\/p>\n

\"mom<\/p>\n

Though the divorce rate is actually declining in the US, the number of unwed mothers is rising. This leave more and more single moms out there. I\u2019m not at all knocking on the dads! There are still stand up men who pay child support and play an active role in their children\u2019s lives even if they don\u2019t live with the mom. This is just the society we live in now.<\/p>\n

What\u2019s a bio mom to do?<\/h2>\n

So where does that leave us bio moms? Well, it leaves us sharing our baby with another woman. And you now what? Disney taught us about that too! The other woman is supposed to be an evil step-mom who mistreats the child. (I\u2019m beginning to think Disney got it all wrong.) But most of the time that\u2019s simply not the case.<\/p>\n

When Collin was one month old he met his step-mom. It took me a little longer to meet her but I\u2019m sure you understand that. When Collin was two months old he was waking her up every 3 hours during the night for feedings or cuddles or diaper changes. When he was 4 months old he had us running from Dr. to Dr. trying to diagnose his tummy issues. And when I say us, I literally mean both her and I would take Collin to his appointments because we both loved that baby so much. When he was 8 months old the three of us (mom, dad and step-mom) were all together in the ER room with our sick baby.<\/p>\n

Step-Mom behind the scenes<\/h2>\n

Not a single time during the years I\u2019ve known Tasha (Collin\u2019s step mom) has she turned our son away because she was too busy or had something else going on. Not a single time has she complained about his waking up at all hours of the night or his refusal to eat anything other than dinosaur chicken nuggets. She has brought a brother and a sister into Collin\u2019s life. I know that can\u2019t be easy with 3 children but she does it and she doesn\u2019t love Collin any less or give him any less of her time and attention. She has been there for Collin any time he needed or wanted her and he loves her. And guess what\u2026I love her too!<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

If you have a strained relationship with your child\u2019s step-mom you may not see all of this going on. You may not see the booboos she kisses or the bedtime stories she tells. You may not see the midnight trips to the bathroom she assists with or the awesome pillow fort she made. You may not see the adoring look your little one gives her when she makes a silly face and tells a funny joke. You may not know that she mixes mayo and ketchup together for him to dip his fires in because that\u2019s how she likes it and oddly enough, your child does too. Wouldn\u2019t you love to see all of that and be a part of it too?<\/p>\n

Not always an easy road<\/h2>\n

Through the years Tasha and I have had our ups and downs. We don\u2019t always see eye-to-eye with each other. Sometimes we completely disagree and not only are we not on the same chapter but we\u2019re not even in the same book. We\u2019ve had misunderstandings and we\u2019ve even hurt each other\u2019s feelings. But the common love for our son and our love and respect for each other always brings up back to a happy place.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

So, how has this relationship effected Collin? I don\u2019t think there is a luckier little boy in the entire world. He has 4 parents who love him and spoil him more than we should. He has 2 homes with different day-to-day routines that teach him adversity and how to adapt. He has a co-family that make parenting decisions as a combined unit showing him that he\u2019s important to all of us. And well, 2 houses means he gets 2 of everything! What little kid wouldn\u2019t love that?!<\/p>\n

\"mom

A photo of us and Collin at Chuck E. Cheese<\/p><\/div>\n

You CAN do this<\/h2>\n

I just want to tell you that this is possible. This is my every day. Co-parenting is not just something we do every other weekend, we live and breathe it. I had struggles in the beginning as I\u2019m sure Collin\u2019s step mom did too. But we both set our pride aside so that a little boy could thrive. And that\u2019s the biggest tip I can give you.\u00a0 Let go of your pride, let go of your hurt.\u00a0 Give it up to God and be done with it.<\/p>\n

When you\u2019re done reading this I want you to go into your child\u2019s room and look at their beautiful sleeping face (because let\u2019s face it, if they\u2019re awake you\u2019re not reading this). Look at that peaceful little creature and tell me they don\u2019t deserve the best. Tell me that your pride or your hurt is more important than their happiness and wellbeing. You can\u2019t do it because they DO deserve the best and your pride or hurt is NOT more important. Kiss that innocent little forehead and decide right then that you\u2019re going to take the steps needed to start building or mending your relationship with your child\u2019s step-mom.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ll keep writing posts with helpful info and I\u2019ll be here for you the whole way. So let go and let God. Start tonight with a decision to move forward in your relationship with your child\u2019s step-mom. She\u2019ll thank you for it and your child will feel even more loved because of it. Need some ideas on where to start? Check out this post<\/a> about Mom and Step-mom date ideas. I\u2019m sure there\u2019s something there the two of you would love to do together.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/body>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Mom and Step-mom. Learning to love. \u00a0 As a mom you never expect to share your child with another \u201cmom\u201d. From the time you were a little girl you expected to grow up, get married to a man who hasn\u2019t been married before, have a family and live happily ever after. I mean Disney said […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1040,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[170],"tags":[134,135,139,132,138,136,137,130,133,140,131],"class_list":{"0":"post-384","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-parenting","8":"tag-bio-mom","9":"tag-bonus-mom","10":"tag-children","11":"tag-co-parenting","12":"tag-dealing-with-the-other-parent","13":"tag-how-to-coparent","14":"tag-how-to-deal-with-a-step-mom","15":"tag-mom","16":"tag-parenting","17":"tag-parenting-tips","18":"tag-step-mom","19":"entry"},"yoast_head":"\nMom and Step-mom. 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