Are you struggling to form a relationship with your child’s step mom? Do you want to build that mom and step mom relationship because you know that’s what’s best for your child but you just know how? I was right there with you when I started this journey with Tasha (my son’s step mom). And now today, five years later, we are truly friends and we’re doing this mom thing together. It’s an amazing feeling and it just keeps getting better. It doesn’t happen overnight but it can happen and I’ve put together a few ideas to get you started. Here are 5 mom and step mom date ideas that can get you headed in the right direction.
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Mani/pedi
This one is just simply great! Either you get a mani/pedi on a regular basis and you’re due for your next one or, you’re long overdue for some pampering and in desperate need of a mani/pedi. There’s one thing for sure, both of you are down for a mani/pedi. So, how do you bring this up or invite the other mom for a mani/pedi date? Simple, you go buy a gift certificate from your favorite salon. Get a gift certificate that will allow for each of you to have a service done. The next time you’re doing drop off or pick up of the kids just say “Hey, I got this gift certificate to the salon. Would you like to go with me and get our nails done?”
If you’re just starting to build that relationship or this is your first attempt at building the relationship this may throw her off guard but rest assured, she wants that mani/pedi and you’re offering it for FREE! She may not say yes right then and there but don’t worry, she’ll be texting soon to schedule that date with you.
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Chick Fil A
Another easy way in. You can do this with the kids which makes things even easier. I’m sure you know some of her schedule. You know what time she gets off work, what time she picks up the kids or if they have afterschool activities. Choose a time when you are pretty sure she’s not nose deep in the afterschool chaos and invite her to meet you at Chick Fil A. Just give a quick call or text and say “Hey, I was going to surprise the kids with Chick Fil A today around 6:00. I’d love it if y’all could join us. I think it would be fun for everyone.”
You’re offering her some great stuff here. A chance to have the kids play on the playground while you two have some adult conversation and a chance to get out of making dinner. Can you say Win-Win! This used to be an every Tuesday occurrence for me and Tasha.
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Go to a movie
This one can be played out a couple different ways. You can either go to a family movie and take the kids along or you can plan a time when the dads are on kiddo duty and the two of you sneak off for a fun girly movie together. For me this would be sending a text saying “OMG, Collin will NOT stop asking me to take him to see Paddington 2. I need you to come with me for the sake of my sanity!” in which Tasha would reply “Crystal please, if you want to go see Paddington 2 you don’t have to use Collin as an excuse. I want to see it too! lol”
If you want to sneak away for a girly movie you’ll have to do a little planning. Just shoot a text over to your little ones step mom and say “Pitch Perfect 3 is calling my name. I’m too embarrassed to go see it alone. Would you want to come with me? We can have the hubby’s watch the kiddos.” Are both of these movies on my bucket list? Well of course they are!
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Take a class
I’m a crafty kind of person (SURPRISE, SURPRISE). I know a lot of you out there are too. I bet you see pins all the time that you’d love to make at home but you just don’t know how. Did you know that a lot of local craft stores have free classes that teach you how to make all kinds of things? I know the Michael’s stores down here in Texas do. It’s always something different. Just pop into the store and find out what classes they are offering and when. Wreath making is totally fun, totally easy and totally useful. You can’t go wrong with a wreath making class.
Pick something you think would interest the both of you and then invite her to come to the class with you. It’s usually just a few hours on a Saturday. No long term commitment and it’s something fun and easy to do. Then after the class suggest lunch or Starbucks to take your little mom and step mom date into extra innings.
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Shopping
Okay, okay, who doesn’t love shopping? This mom and step mom date was (and still is) a favorite for Tasha and me. Both of us are just completely Christmas crazy. I don’t mean the normal amount of Christmas crazy, I mean over the top, someone stop me before I buy the whole store, I have to have all the things, Christmas Crazy! So naturally we bonded over Christmas shopping. It’s something that just really clicked for us and now we take yearly Christmas shopping trips.
You don’t have to go all out when you’re just starting on the mom and step mom relationship. Start with something small. Target is great for that. Every mom loves Target. It’s big enough to offer something to everyone and small enough that you can get through the entire store in an hour or two and have that coveted cup of Starbucks too. Target needs no catchy introduction. Just send a text and say “I’m heading to Target, wanna come?” That’s a pretty easy YES in almost everyone’s book.
Me and Tasha with our boys. My son Collin and her son Cohen.
Well, there you have it
Five pretty easy ideas for mom and step mom dates. Don’t get hung up on the “how am I going to make this work” just get out there and start making it work. One thing is for certain, both of you love your children and would walk through fire for them. Forming a relationship with your child’s step mom is vastly easier than walking through fire so just do it! Make that call, send that text and plan that mom and stop mom date right now.